japan 2009

ok going on vacation made this blogging business super difficult. the fact that i was staying in hotel rooms with other people also made it hard for me to concentrate on morning model shots. i do have tons of pictures from the trip that i will put up AND i knew i wouldnt have much time to take pictures so i carefully wrote down all of the items of clothing i packed just in cases.

japan this time around was a gajillion times different and better than my trip last year. its so different traveling alone, then traveling with 8 other people. i can sum up my trip in three words: FAT FOR LYFE. everyday there was breakfast, snacks, lunch, snacks, dinner, drinks and snacks, then late night food. yes...9 days and nights of drinking and eating huge meals and buying miscellaneous goodies from the convenient stores. i think 7-11 and family mart became our best friends!

it was a great great trip and the best thing is that im still on vacation for another week! i tried to make myself eat salad today but umm it was at a buffet.....

good deals in nyc

today my friend hana found the best deal EVER. monday nights seem like the times to dine about town in this city at lower prices in the nicer restaurants. we headed to paris commune for a ginormous steak, french fries and salad for....

....

....

....

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$12.95

...........wtf right? i was saying that i couldn't even get a steak at chili's or applebee's for

that price! AND we each took half of our steaks home. madness i say!

wow, this sounds like a yelp review, but it's so not. i don't think i have even posted a single yelp review since i got here.

before i talk about my monday, let me talk about my sunday (or lack thereof). it rained all day and i left the house only to hit up morton williams to do some grocery shopping. at home i cooked, baked, cleaned and packed. it was the best sunday ive had in a while. since i didnt leave the house, i didnt wear anything but sweat pants and it was perfection. sorry, but i dont have pictures of my perfection. id be too sexy and irresistable.

i left work super early today because my reservations at commune were at 7 and i had a few things i needed to get done today:

1) buy conductive thread

2) go to uniqlo

3) find presents

i was productive enough in an hour and a half to get all of those done. keep in mind that i only relied on my legs to get everywhere too.....im super woman!

i hate how cold it is in ny and i cant use my phone without taking off my damn gloves. so i looked online for those iphone compatible gloves. to my dismay they were almost $30...not to mention i would have to wait for them to ship and who knows when i would get them during this holiday rush. i did more google research and found out i could make them with conductive thread! the only problem was that i needed to find where conductive thread was sold but finally found it at the nyu computer store. when i got home tonight i tested t

he thread on my own pair of gloves and IT WORKED! friends with iphones and touch screens, be excited because ill be spending my 14 hour plane trip on friday sewing for you!!

sweater: club monaco

tank: wet seal

pants: express

hats! hats! hats!

i used to never wear hats in california. to me, only the stylish could pull it off...and i so was not the stylish. hats became a necessity in my winter move to new york and now i cant get enough of them! i always seem to buy the same types of hats, however.

i was wearing a hat during the day but i decided to change it up and take a picture from a dressing room. i think this is one of my most risque outfits where i try to be stylish.

top: BCBG

jacket: kensie girl

pants: leggings from strawberry

in the evening i finally hit up butter lane and paradis in the east village. paradis yelpers raved that their chocolate cookies are the best. the cookies were HUGE and when you bit into them they were still slightly raw. pretty darn good but still NOT a specialty's semi sweet. ive been hearing about butter lane for a while and have been meaning to go there because you can choose the cake and frosting and they make it in front of you! i must say that they were pretty bomb and is now one of the higher ranking cupcake places in ny.

i brought the desserts over to connie's where they were having a korean pork belly party for "good foods and good friends". i ended up leaving there smelling like delicious meat and probably 5 lbs heavier because the kim chi and mushrooms were fried in the pork belly grease. the only reason i changed was because i decided to go to a bar and didnt want dogs chasing me down the street.

the color purple

when i was in college, our sorority colors were purple and white and i was sooo not a fan of purple at the time. it wasnt until after college that i fell in love with purple: purple eyeliner, eyeshadow, clothes, SHOES!

i had two holiday parties to go today (lucky me...free food all day!) and for some reason i decided to wear purple all day!

here i am trying to give you a little peep show....of my tank! i wore this to work and to my holiday part. it was the closest thing i could get to the "festive" gear the coordinators suggested.

top: backspace (this amazing boutique on divis in sf)

camisole: aritzia (i wear this alot)

pants: xxi

the quality of this picture isnt too great but i used this dress to seduce connie at her holiday party. i should have gotten rid of the camisole inside to show some more skin hehe. that extra layer very much helped me.

dress: zara

camisole: wet seal (yes, wet seal)

tights: somewhere in japan? theyre argyle...you cant see it

lmj

my good friend caroline used to nickname me FML because i used to say "I HATE MY LIFE" or "F My LIFE" all the time. i would like to start using more positive sayings like, "I LOVE MY LIFE" and now, i have LMJ which is "I love my job"

today was my company's holiday party where we celebrated 70 years in business. what inspired me the most is that our 93 year old founder came to the party and gave a speech. he is the cutest man ever and surprisingly at his age very mobile and still super clever. listening to especially him speak made me pretty happy that i am at a great company. not only that, several previously higher up people also spoke and talked about the history of the company. i found out that the nba originally hired us in 1964 to start their pension plan! we also have other sports associations such as the nhl, mlb and nfl. dope-alicious!

outer sweater: H&M (bought when i was a tourist in ny in college!)

sweater: cashmere turtleneck from .....COSTCO!

pants: banana republic (i wear them a lot...they were $20)

in other news, it has been getting majorly cold up in this city. yesterday it was 30 degrees, and today was 20 with a windchill of 11. i am so so glad i invested in a long puffy jacket. i cant believe i didnt have one last year!!! but yesterday when i was wearing this AND the puffy jacket, i was sweating balls. BALLS!

you cant always get what you want, can you?

so im watching the season finale of glee and this song pops up. it seemed only appropriate to use it for the title of my entry today. since ive moved to new york, ive had a lot of trouble really living in new york. ive complained countless times to james that i felt that i am living a half-life here and that the only thing that keeps me here is my job. it made sense to me. nothing can always be perfect. you cant always get what you want, right? in san francisco, i had my entire extended family within 30 minutes driving distance, an amazing group of friends, and young man named yong suk. everything was pretty fabulous except i dreaded waking up everyday to go to work because i hate my job so much.

moving out east i have finally found a job i love, but i have gone through the year unhappy and wishing i was at home. i felt the friends i made here were not comparable to the ones at home. today i realized that im just a little brat. and that i DO have friends. sometimes its just hard for me to appreciate things! its totally possible to get what you want....

this is my outfit from wednesday which im super proud of because the whole outfit cost less than $20!!

dress: BCBG

tank: XXI

tights (not shown): dkny

i also have to mention that this is one out of 5 black and white dresses i own. they're all different patterns, but patterned nonetheless. i would have never thought of myself as a patterned dress person....but maybe i am?

sickness

wow ive been pretty bad at posting. my weekend was a little crazy to say the least. here is my outfit from saturday during the day.

sweater: fcuk cowl neck

pants: black leggings

pictures of saturday night will soon be up. mon definitely pulled through with some model poses!

im a little too embarassed to post what i wore on sunday and monday cuz well, they were the same thing. sexual...

when i could finally get myself back to work, i couldn't help but fall back on my usual

sweater: banana republic cardigan

cami: banana republic

pants: rampage plaid slacks

it seems that this year the change in weather has made me especially susceptible for getting sick. the way i get sick is i get halfway sick several times a year. when i was in california, i would get very sick once a year. which is worse?

it's christmas time in the city

christmas in this city is madness. its only december 4 and 5th ave is full of tourists! today i saw a line to go into abercrombie, and a mob around rockefeller center to watch the snowflake light show at saks, to name a few.

luckily work during this time of year is pretty chill so i left a little early to do some christmas shopping. living here has definitely put me in the xmas spirit and given me cheer. walking down the street was to me reminiscent of that christmas song silver bel

ls! well, except for the "meeting smile after smile" part, maybe because i wasnt smiling at anyone at huffing past the slow ass walkers. xmas cheer, my ass!

at the end of my journey was columbus circle where i went to sephora to see if i could pull off the red lipstick. the salesperson at sephora AND one at A/X said i could. since i was rockin the red, i thought i'd try to rock a model pose too. yay or nay?

sweater: nordstrom rack

tank: xxi

pants: banana republic

can't predict the weather

today i woke up and as usual checked the weather. it said 67 and possibly rainy and i got excited to change up my wardrobe and wear a dress. when i left work i realized what a noob i was. it was windy and cold and there was i walking around the city in a dress, a thin ass trench and ballet flats. it was probably 50 degrees with a crazy wind.

in college when jan and i were brainstorming about our website, we knew we had to factor in the wind to help with our recommended wear. how did i forget about wind chill today??

other than wind chill issue, i think ive gotten better at knowing how a certain temperature feels, and what to wear. and i definitely know that at a windy 50 degrees, i SHOULD NOT wear a dress!

dress: banana republic

i didnt put up a picture from yesterday, but i went to a concert yesterday and felt super preppy.

i think it was the button down shirt. or it was the grungy asses at the concert haha.

cardigan: urban outfitters

button up: club monaco

pants: xxi

i love cardigans

as i was deciding what to wear this morning for work, i made two observations:

1) i think i will end up wearing the clothing that i keep in my room more often. if you havent been to my apartment yet, you will be surprised (or maybe appalled) to know that d and i dont have closets in our rooms. the only closets are in the living room and btw are teeny tiny. therefore i have to keep the majority of my clothing in storage receptacles in my room. if i want to wear the stuff in my closet, i usually have to run across the living room....no fun

2) my pictures on my work days will all look the same because i have a ridiculous amount of cardigans....as in at least one in each color. this reminds me of my obsession in high school with russell sweatshirts. maybe when it gets warmer ill throw in some cute dress action. cuteness + model poses = sexual. too bad we'll have to wait through this horrid winter to see any of that! i can sense that ny is at the verge of winter. i think it must have been sub 45 degrees today and i felt the urge to bust out my new spanx today (thanks pooks!)

sweater: madewell

tank: aritzia

pants: banana republic slacks

happy anniversary SNL and NYC

it's hard to believe that one year ago today i got off that flight from sjc to jfk and made the move to new york. i always thought people were such pansies for crying at airports but when i was in sjc last year i was stuck to my mom sobbing like a little kid! i think ive come a long way since then and my skin has gotten damn thick.

so as promised here is day one picture.

recap in case you just started reading. i have too much clothing and am doing a little experiment to see how often i actually wear the stuff i buy. sooooo i chose to start taking pictures of what i wear everytime i go out and tallying it up. (its crazy, i know) if i don't wear something for 6 months im gonna either take it home or give it away.

the funny thing is that over the thanksgiving holiday i proved even further why i need to do this little experiment of mine. some background: most of my clothing is at my mom's house in los gatos zipped up in vacuum sealed bags. i basically have two closets full, and few more bags under my bed there. when i went home i looked through my clothing and found a bunch of things i forgot i had. i thought i had lost my fav A/X jeans but they were there the whole time!! i also found a grey turtleneck in my closet when i had JUST bought one a few weeks ago!! long story short i started to do inventory on my clothing. i have an excel with color, description, brand, size, and in which bag the clothing is (yes, even more crazy). i havent finished yet, but ill finish over christmas break. i am also starting an excel with the tally counts of what i end up wearing. excel is so awesome....expect some monthly and quarterly reports to see which articles of clothing are the winners!!

im excited to see how this will turn out for a few reasons:

1) obviously to see how often i wear the stuff i buy

2) to help me curb my spending

3) the possibility that i could use this blog as a simpleton start to mine and jan's website idea from college

sweater: Martin and Osa

cami: Banana Republic

jeans (not in picture): Ann Taylor Loft

ps. sorry for the not so good quality of my pics...

bailamos

in middle school when we first started to have dances, no one ever really danced. the most we did was slow dance *cue flashback of dancing in circles, boy's hands on girl's waist, girl's hands on boy's shoulders. entire arm's length away*

in high school people started to dance but mainly in groups (circles, to be exact) and all i really remember was *step, clap, step clap*

when i started dating han he was super into dancing, and we would always go to clubs (18 and under ones) and raves. considering that i had so much experience dancing, i was super confident in busting a groove with him. it didnt help that the more uninhibited he was, the more inhibited and self conscious i became. it wasnt long before we didnt go dancing at all.

in college and most of post college, the only dancing i did was drunk dancing. for some reason we would always go clubbing (hitting up zebra lounge more than once a weekend....check) but i think i went mainly to drink and hang out with friends.

post college, i was introduced to and fell in love with the art of making up dances. acting a fool always had some type of name associated with it (see my first post with the reasoning behind the name of this blog).

i think it was this that caused me to realize that the reason you dance IS to act crazy, be uninhibited, and just HAVE FUN. and lately because i injured myself running, i found that having dance parties in my room at night is an awesome workout. i cant believe how much i love (LOVE) turning up my speakers and just jumping around. now all i need is a full length mirror to practice dancing like britney....

home is where the heart is

i have the best friends and family a girl could ask for. i know a million people say that it sounds super lame, but its true. in the span of 48 hours, i was able to spend time with the majority of the people that i care most about...including qt.

highlights: 1) friday night sai told me that "you know you are friends if you are friends even after being mad at each other" truuueee

2) learning the "i got a feeling" dance with meeks, recording ourselves, then giggling like two little school girls

3) getting driven to the airport with 2/3 of my best friends

travel destinations

there are so many places that i want to go and i think its time to start seriously planning this out! here is my top 5 list of places i need to go to STAT (in no particular order)

1) Costa Rica

2) Burma

3) Greece

4) Eastern Europe

5) Iceland

the nyc marathon

i experienced my first new york marathon today. no i didnt run....i was merely a spectator. carol and i met up at 96th and columbus and walked on the traverse to 97th and 5th ave where a bunch of spectators were (this was at about mile 23). the whole time i tried to track koo's number online but the site wasn't loading but carol said he was on mile 21 when we first left so we would probably see him.

it was pretty amazing to see all of the runners and all of the spectators who were so into it and so excited to see the runners go by. when we arrived we saw the runners at a 4 hour pace (6.5 mph pace) and i was surprised to see that the majority of them were not young and there were SO many countries that were represented. a few people were dressed up in costumes, and as some ran by, they tried to get us to cheer, or cheered themselves....remember this was at mile 23! so awesome. other memorable people we saw: a blind man running with two of his friends who led him while all holding a walking stick, a man running and pushing his friend in a wheelchair, a couple holding hands while running, and a man with no arms. i was so so inspired by these people i think i got choked up a few times. again.. AMAZING.

on the downside, i saw some sad things such as an older woman who was bleeding down her leg and a man with blood spots on his nipple area from chaffing.

carol and i finally decided to head down to the meeting point on 70th and central park west in hopes of seeing koo. the whole street was blocked off and there were people walking around everywhere! there was an announcer on the speaker talking in several different languages. there was actually a lot of foot traffic (of course) and we finally were able to spot our friends!

poor koo looked so tired and was just munching on a nasty looking bagel. keep in mind while during his marathon training he has lost so much weight! regardless, he needed two of his friends to help him up and couldnt walk very fast at all.

the cutest part of the event was when one of his friends fed him some almonds. koo had those post marathon capes around him so his hands weren't free and his friend just opened up the bag and popped a handful into his mouth. ok i guess describing it it doesnt sound very cute but i guess you had to be there.

the way out was pretty crowded...there was tons of foot traffic but no one seemed to be caring. it must have been the runners high! i definitely need my injury to go away so i can run a few halves next year. super inspired!

halloween in nyc = nye in vegas

i heard that halloween in new york was crazy. i heard about the parade and how it was impossible to get anywhere in the city. i didnt worry about it at all because i was headed to tavern on the green which is only 15 blocks from my house. lucky me! NOT. i should have listened to everyone and not thought i was invincible to the hell this city throws out at people.

8:30 pm - i leave the house to go to stuy town to meet connie (she has my cowboy hat and cowboy boots). i take the M11 bus down 9th ave and get off on 14th street. it seems pretty crowded in the area for me to take the crosstown bus so i decide to walk. first of all, it started raining and then at 7th ave it started to get crowded. by the time i hit the subway stop, i am stuck in shoulder to shoulder foot traffic. by the end of the block, i turn into a back grazing skank as i am so close to the people around me that as i push past from person to person my boobs graze everyone's back. as i try to walk closer to 6th ave i realize that the parade is on 6th ave so i try to turn around and it gets even more crowded! there was no way for me to turn a right and go south so i tried to turn around and back track. the way back was even worse and people kept pushing me to the point that i almost fell over. i was so close to people that i couldnt even breathe. at one point a large woman yelled at everyone to stop pushing or else i was going to get squished! bless her heart.

9:30 pm - is the time im finally able to get out of the crowd. i was so traumatized that i yelled to all the people walking towards 6th to turn around because theyll regret the experience. i then thought that it would be smart to walk around the parade. every street was basically blocked off by the parade UNTIL HOUSTON. keep in mind it was really coming down now and i was soaked and i made the decision to try the subway. luckily the station gave me access to the red line or to the L. i tried to get to the L but it was so crowded that i just got on the 1 train and went straight back home. i was drenched and had to change the shirt from my costume and was so stressed that i had a glass of jack on the rocks. (yes, pregamed alone)

11:30 pm - i finally head to tavern on the green. this place is FULL of people in some pretty awesome costumes. only problem was that all those people were headed to the tavern. ok well no that wasn't the only problem. the first was that we couldnt find the rest of our friends for the longest time. the second problem was that there were SO many people trying to get into the party. the third and worse was that new yorkers are new yorkers. let me elaborate....the party ended up getting shut down because a few over eager and impatient partygo-ers decided to whack the tent entrance and tear it because the party doors wouldnt open.

ok thats enough because the night just ended up getting bad and worse then finally at 4 am it got better.

start to start

i am very much a starter. i have a million projects that i want to do in my head. once i start them, ill get SUPER into it for a short period of time, and then my interest will fizzle.

example 1 - drawing/painting - when james first came to visit me in ny in april, we decided to draw and paint on canvases which i eventually put up in my room. soon after, i bought a sketchbook and more canvases to paint on. i had sketches of my additional paintings that i would do, and now, six months later, i still haven't gotten to it

example 2 - baking - this is what im currently on and i think it has gotten a little obsessive. i started last friday and since then have used at least 6 sticks of butter and an entire bag of flour and bought tons of other ingredients to make cookies with. ive made so far 6 different types of cookies and tried several recipes for granola. i even bought posterboard and put together my own handmade boxes and decorated them to send to people. i wonder when ill get over this phase?

my one year anniversary....with the concrete jungle

its hard to believe that ive been here almost a year. i feel like while in new york, i have spent a lot of money on accessories, clothing blah blah. starting december 1 (or maybe sooner) i am going to take a picture of myself everytime i leave the house to see how often i wear all the clothes i have purchased while living here. if i find that i haven't worn an item in over 6 months.....ITS GOING BACK TO CALIFORNIA!!!!

dark chocolate hierarchy

i went on a dark chocolate purchasing binge the other day because im not a huge fan of milk chocolate and the generic candy bars out there and i also heard dark chocolate is better for your chocolate cravings.

i buoght a bag of hersheys individually wrapped sugar free chocolates, a bar of cadburry, and a bar of dove.

id have to say that the hersheys sucked and cadburry is creamier than the dove and came to the conclusion that

cadburry > dove > hersheys

last week jan's sister elaine brought us a box of chocolates that jan had purchased in belgium. dark chocolate, apparently all cocoa, very little if any sugar and it was awesome!! how can i get my hands on some of that stuff??

judgements

during my midyear review today my boss had mainly only good feedback to forward onto me from the rest of the team. the only thing she would like me to improve on is the fact that i dont talk loudly and often enough. as a kid, i always had problems raising my hand and even when i knew the answer, i would just sit there going over and over what i would say if i were to raise my hand and answer. only problem was that if i actually somehow muster up the courage to raise my hand, my rehearsed speech would only come out in this stumbled quiet mess.

i made conscious efforts to get better. i took a public speaking class that gave me some confidence. in college i definitely grew more outgoing. the workforce, is another story. i dont like to speak up and when i do i dont do it loudly enough. i dont have intelligent questions to ask. during conference calls i usually stay silent. i rationalize it as "im still learning and am trying to absorb the information". i just feel like i do have nothing intelligent to say, and i am NOt going to be one of those jerkfaces that just talks to be heard. nono thats not me.

i wish i was louder like i am in the streets and am not afraid to yell at a person or give them a piece of my mind. why is it so easy for me to be loud on the ny streets and not at work? my boss talks about how people may have these prejudgements of me because of my size and i think thats totally possible. i think i try to overcompensate for that on the streets and am always afraid that it will get me into some kind of trouble. at work the fact that i am so quiet plus my quietness...THATS whats going to get me in trouble.

security

my apartment has a lot of issues. sometimes i wonder if i had chosen another apartment instead of this one, what kind of problems i would have instead. little did i know that i was moving into the ghetto. our apartment is the only one in this super old building that was gutted and turned into something that was worth more than $2000/month in rent. ghetto apartment=ghetto tenants. my number one problem with this place isnt the cockroaches, or the flies, or the heat. nope...its the fact that the tenants dont give a shit about the security of our apartment. worst of all, apparently neither does the landlord. during the winter, the door is always ajar because the weather makes the hinges apparently unable to move. in the summer its just constantly propped open. umm hello? does no one get it that its recession, and if the apt is open, shady people can come in and jack shit/hurt people?? its common sense. ive asked the landord to at least put a sign up several times and he hasnt done it. whats wrong with these people? is it really that hard to get your key out of your freaking pocket and open the door? if my shit gets jacked im going to raise hell. i do not pay this much in rent to have to deal with this crap.

whackness in ny part 2

i have a feeling that there will be many entries of ny whackness. last night i was in a cab with some friends going from the upper west to hit up park. my friends had gotten out and i was waiting for my credit card receipt. as i was getting out the people waiting for the cab were standing there waiting for me and one a**hole started making sounds that were horrible attempts at sounding chinese. i walked up to him and said "what did you say?" and he did it again thinking i wouldnt say jack. (what a surprise) me, after 2 glasses of wine, a jack and a beer decided to cuss him out. i hate when people think that i am this little girl who will not speak up when people are just plain ignorant. i honestly dont care if i make a scene or that people will think i am a crazy person. i will not sit back and let someone be racist to me and think they can get away with it without me speaking my mind. 

btw when i ended up leaving park, the guy who hailed the cab for us remembered me as the one who got mad. ha go me for at least having one person notice.

being a ny pedestrian is whack

new york has made me a bigger asshole. on my walk home i was crossing the street and a cab driver was making a turn. just in cases you didnt know, in ny its not like in ca where you can turn left from a one way street  when the light is red. this im guessing makes cab drivers more impatient assholes. anyways, the cab literally crosses in front of me and SLOWS DOWN. and me, being the nice person i am, yells "what the fuck asshole!?" and he has the audacity to STOP in front of me and leans over to look at me. i just walk past pissed off. as im approaching the other side of the street, this hokey ass family's mom and daughter look at each other and laugh. ugh.

save me from this half life

i live to travel to different countries. if i dont take a trip at least once a year, i feel like i go a little insane. lately, i think i dont need a vacation from my job, i need a vacation from myself, from the thoughts that are inside my head.

no im not going crazy and dont have evil demons telling me to do whacko things. maybe that would be easier to deal with because that way, it would be my thoughts fighting my own thoughts. matters of the heart versus the brain are much, much worse.

i feel like i have written something similar to this entry years ago in my xanga regarding feelings versus logical, rational thoughts. as i get older i would think that i get wiser but it scares me to think that i could just be driving in circles in this space time continuum.

como queiren al limentar al cuerpo si antes no limentaron el alma??

my heart was left in the city by the bay

coming home from san francisco is always hard. three days is never enough to be there and to do all i wanna do, and see all the people i want to see. i ended up having to go home and see my family everyday. on the third day i was in such a bad mood that i threw a fit and almost didnt go. weirdly enough, they were so understanding about it and it only made me feel more guilty. i only wondered to myself WHY i was so mad that i had to go home again. was time with my friends really more valuable to me than my family?

the last time i was in sf i felt relieved when i got back to new york. i felt like a nomad in sf like i didnt belong there anymore. this time, i felt nostalgia come through me again as i was there. 

when will i not feel like this anymore? what crap.

the east coast swing (i)

the name isnt exactly an alliteration, but what the hell....i know i originally started this blog to write about my travels but since my move to new york, ive felt that this is the craziest journey i have gone about so far. lets see how well i keep up with my blogging.

approximately a year ago for my birthday one of my best friends gave me the best thing i own-my very own personalized calendar complete with pictures of our escapades. i didnt realize how valuable it actually was to me until i moved across the country from her. now as im getting ready to flip to the last page in the calendar (showing the month of june 2009), i also didnt realize how quickly time had flown since it was given to me. i honestly thought the pages would never end and i would be able to flip to a new month with crazier pictures and better memories than the one before.

june 2009 will also mark my 6 month anniversary of moving to new york i guess i feel nostalgic that i cant look to the calendar anymore not only because ive been here so long, but because im sad of friends and experiences that are portrayed in that calendar.

i know its stupid to feel sorry myself that i haven't made what is equivalent to a 6 year friendship in 6 months, but i am so impatient. it also sucks to know i did this to myself and most of the people that i love most are still at home.